So one thing I am very aware of is that life, no more like society is very loud. Almost deafening. In a sense that its message has infiltrated almost every facet of ones life. As you notice there is a significant gap between this post and previous post. Its because I became "busy". Not in the real sense. I just was filling up my time with non-important things. TV shows, random busy work, sleeping, games. Sure I was still doing school work and working but all my free time was spent in front of a screen participating in mindless entertainment. The weird thing is that I noticed. I noticed I was reading my bible less, praying less, listening to the word less. Yet I made up clever excuses or more accurately just didn't think about it, avoidance at its finest. I also noticed a regression in my behaviors, little white lies, getting angry and arguing at little things, feeling depressed, lost. Things that made sense in my life started to become confusing. But then out of boredom I decided to start up my summer reading list again, and what was on it but Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Two things in the book stood out to me.
The first was lukewarm Christianity. It just as it sounds. Doing the bare minimum. Following Christ when its convenient. Never truly trusting God. Relying on him only when all your options have been exhausted. Making God your "extra backup plan" or your "just in case". The second was conviction without action. Many times I feel convicted to do something, to change, but never follow through or don't trust God to change me. I truly do want the Lord to change me. I want the fruits of the spirit to manifest in me:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. - Galatians 5:22-23(NIV)
I also want a Christ like humility:
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. - Philippians 2:3-11
The thing is society literally portrays the opposite of this. We are always competing with one other for jobs, looks, money, wealth. With social media the comparisons become even more minute. We are taught to look out for ourselves. Pick up any magazine and it will tell you how to look the best, win the interview, etc. We are taught how to take charge, be assertive, take what you deserve. We also focus a lot on superficial things. I just checked my e-mail and in just the advertisements I started to become self conscious of myself. Which is why another book I have read is slowly helping me to overcome such stuff. More about that in another post :)
