04/08/2014

Dear God,

Today I was granted peace. It was so simple. I was listening to my christian/gospel music while washing dishes and a feeling came over, one of grace and stillness. I felt like no matter what happened at that moment everything was going to be okay. Although currently I am dealing with many things in my life, I felt that it would all work out and I could just let go and place my burdens upon him. Lately I feel closer to Him, as if I'm reaching areas I haven't seen yet and what he is revealing to me is beautiful beyond compare. The silent, gentleness of his grace envelopes me. Yet even in times of peace I am vigilant of indwelling sin. As I have felt similar before but I let my pride and blindness tear me asunder and when I finally was able to see, the world had gone dark. I had lost my way and fed my sinful nature.

Also I notice a change in those around me. I don't know if it is me seeing them through Gods eyes or God is affecting people through me. Whichever I am happy to be his humble servant and do his will. Although he has revealed to me another area of weakness. Patience. For so long I have been living my life in only two speeds, parked or top gear. Nothing in between and so now I am learning to slow down and appreciate life, I tend to try to hurry people and avoid them when they need help as I had better things to do(read as: Play games, watch tv, social media, mindlessly surfing the internet). So I learned to give my time to others while still keeping time for myself for more meaningful endeavors first God then other responsibilities like cleaning, school work, and other commitments. I am trying and I pray God work and mold me into the patient person I know I can be.

I also realize I am lazy or slothful, this more on the procrastination front. I waste time, precious time the lord has granted me. Every second I breath is a blessing from God for he can take me at any time. I need to learn to utilize my time better. I pray Lord that you will give me strength and will to be a master of my time. Guide me in the way I am suppose to go.

From,
Your Humbled Servant